I think you learn after being married for a while that is not vital to spend every waking minute with your spouse. It is important, however, make sure that you do have some quality time together. When putting together you day, you should look include both “us “time and “me” time.
Is a much different experience spending time together with your children spending time together just the two of you. This “us” time without the children is important to have for your general mental health. Then the focus is not on immediate needs of the children, but each other’s wants and needs. This “us” time can take the form of a date night out, or be a simple time between the time the children go to bed at a time do you go to bed. Try to plan something in this time that will help you reconnect after a long day. Cook, watch a movie, play games, anything that will help you relax together.
I’ve also found that it’s important to have “me “time. Though together you’ve established a marital identity, you are also individuals who have specific talents and pastimes. It is good for your mental health to make sure you have some time for us to be yourself and pursue whatever it is that makes you happy. Make sure that your wife has this too. If she likes to paint, for example, better have some time by yourself or she can work on her projects in solitude. This can be a refreshing experience, which will draw you closer together when you return to each other.