Day 125: Transitioning to “2+1”

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Having a baby changes your relationship with your spouse. The equation that you’re used to “one plus one”, has finally become “two plus one”. Both of your attentions will be diverted from each other to taking care of your child. This is a natural process, but can be quite a transition as you adjust to this new way of life.

You simply have to accept that things are not going to be exactly as they were before. As long as you have realistic expectations, you’re not setting yourself up for disappointment.

Make sure during this time that you still carve out time for just the two of you. If necessary, find a trusted babysitter with whom you can leave the baby for a while to take your wife on a date. Infancy is a stressful time and you need to do things that help you cope with the stress.

Look for ways to spend time together all taking care of the child. Make bedtime, bath time, or anything in between a family affair. This is a wonderful way to bond, united behind a common cause around someone of you both love.

Having any baby can be a time to serve not only the new child, but also your spouse. If you can see that your spouse needs a little break, offer to step in another do something to relieve some stress.

Finally, be open with your spouse about your concerns. If you are feeling stressed over the situation, let your spouse know and work together to figure out what to do.

The transition is difficult, but actually leads to a better way of life. When both of you work together to serve this little person, your characters will be refined, and you will learn to think more about others than ever before, traits that will only strengthen your marriage.

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